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10 Reasons To Never Ever Drink With Your Co-Workers

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An invitation to grab a drink with co-workers after work sounds harmless, but here are 10 reasons why you should maybe reconsider that invite.

Tavon Perkins is a Senior Writer for Rant, Inc. Follow him on Twitter @TavonPerkins or add him to your network on Google.

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10. Accessory To A Crime

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The night began with a couple of drinks with co-workers then ended with you and said co-workers in a police line-up after robbing a senior living center dressed as your favorite characters from ‘Lord of the Rings’.

The night began with a couple of drinks with co-workers then ended with you and said co-workers in a police line-up after robbing a senior living center dressed as your favorite characters from ‘Lord of the Rings’.

9. Medical Mishaps

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It may be a good idea to dodge after work drinking sessions just to avoid any medical mishaps that can occur under the influence. “What’s that you say Todd, you’re allergic to tequila? Guess you should have kept your grubby hands off my margarita.”

It may be a good idea to dodge after work drinking sessions just to avoid any medical mishaps that can occur under the influence. “What’s that you say Todd, you’re allergic to tequila? Guess you should have kept your grubby hands off my margarita.”

8. Raging Alcoholics

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Maybe the reason your buddy from the office always declines an invitation to go for a drink after work is because they’re a raging alcoholic. Sort of explains why Jim avoids eggnog at the company Christmas party.

Maybe the reason your buddy from the office always declines an invitation to go for a drink after work is because they’re a raging alcoholic. Sort of explains why Jim avoids eggnog at the company Christmas party.

7. Snitches

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It is almost guaranteed if you go for a drink after work with co-workers there will be one snitch in the crowd waiting for any dirty laundry he or she can take back to the boss. You know what they say though — snitches get stitches.

It is almost guaranteed if you go for a drink after work with co-workers there will be one snitch in the crowd waiting for any dirty laundry he or she can take back to the boss. You know what they say though — snitches get stitches.

6. Unwanted Autobiography

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If you’re going to drink with co-workers, you better believe there will be one person who drinks a bit too much and then decides to recap their three-hour long life story. I could swear some of these stories sound eerily familiar to a James Cameron movie.

If you’re going to drink with co-workers, you better believe there will be one person who drinks a bit too much and then decides to recap their three-hour long life story. I could swear some of these stories sound eerily familiar to a James Cameron movie.

5. Tales of Tail

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One of the unintended consequences of grabbing a drink with co-workers is hearing them relive their sexual exploits. I mean, does anyone really want to hear the boss tell stories of his Viagra-induced exploits with women old enough to be his grandchild?

One of the unintended consequences of grabbing a drink with co-workers is hearing them relive their sexual exploits. I mean, does anyone really want to hear the boss tell stories of his Viagra-induced exploits with women old enough to be his grandchild?

4. Prospect Of Sharing or Giving A Ride Home

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If you’re drinking with co-workers, the problem may arise that either you or any one of your co-workers will be too drunk to drive home. If this is the case, do you really want to split a cab with the office stalker, Sally, and risk the chance she gets your physical address? I think everyone has heard of that movie ‘The Gift’ by now.

If you’re drinking with co-workers, the problem may arise that either you or any one of your co-workers will be too drunk to drive home. If this is the case, do you really want to split a cab with the office stalker, Sally, and risk the chance she gets your physical address? I think everyone has heard of that movie ‘The Gift’ by now.

3. Unwanted Sexual Advances

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One very important reason to take a pass on hitting up happy hour with co-workers is the unwanted sexual advances you’ll have to avoid from creepy Teddy. “No Teddy, I’m perfectly fine going to the restroom myself!”

One very important reason to take a pass on hitting up happy hour with co-workers is the unwanted sexual advances you’ll have to avoid from creepy Teddy. “No Teddy, I’m perfectly fine going to the restroom myself!”

2. Ripe For Rumors

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You can bet while drinking with your buddies or gal pals from work that one of these people will start an ugly rumor at work about how you totally got wasted then went home with the little person who works door security at the bar. The rumor might be true, but you just can’t help your little person fetish.

You can bet while drinking with your buddies or gal pals from work that one of these people will start an ugly rumor at work about how you totally got wasted then went home with the little person who works door security at the bar. The rumor might be true, but you just can’t help your little person fetish.

1. American Psycho

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The worst-case scenario of drinking with co-workers after work is figuring out one of them just may be a complete psycho, and I don’t mean fun psycho like, “Look at Rick juggle those shot glasses.” I mean psycho as in, “Oh my God, look at Rick cutting into his arms with shards of glass that he broke from juggling those shot glasses.”

The worst-case scenario of drinking with co-workers after work is figuring out one of them just may be a complete psycho, and I don’t mean fun psycho like, “Look at Rick juggle those shot glasses.” I mean psycho as in, “Oh my God, look at Rick cutting into his arms with shards of glass that he broke from juggling those shot glasses.”

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